Tom read this poem, or more properly monologue, on BBC Radio 4's Word of Mouth of Christmas 2009 - and the show was inundated with requests.

A version appears as Track 14 on Tom's album The Whisper, which is available for purchase here. You can also download from iTunes.

(Oh and I'd like to credit Pete Morton and his wonderful Chaucerian versions of modern pop songs - they were certainly an influence).


Takely: Appleby, Plumly, Cheriton, Pirton and Cantelop Melonby. Washington, Cutmill and Unstone. Ingoe Bole - and Masham.

Pickwell: Blewbury, Goosey Bury, Shawbury, Shrewsbury, Blackbourough, and Llanberis. Tipton Shellow Bowells and Churn.

Watchet Caerphilly. Wendy Mold.. Outwell. Wendy Sea Palling Wormington, or Crawley Bugthorpe, Kilham and Binham.

Findon Knutsford: Haselbech and Cheshunt. Cracoe Penn, and Chopwell.


Bowling; Honing, Runnymede and Melton Cadbury. Then Warminstir, and Lickey End. Addingham Timble Salt, and St Just Pinchbeck Curry, then Pannal and Mixbury Evenly

Makeworth Doughton: Floore, Buttercrambe and Egham (Henlade) - and Beetham. Alfold and Needham, then Rollright Thingwall, and Coverham Puddington.

Lightthorn Furness Chimney, and Burntwood Heaton Ovenden Cookham.

Bakeup, Bakewell - Butley Doynton Burnham! (Wrexham).

Wensbury Dunnington - Tickton, Tockwith Tring! Orpington Ovenden.. Greet! Monmouth Pyworthy Over Kingston - for Mumby, Tuesley, Wembly, Thursley, Fridaythorpe, Thatcham Deighton and Sunderland.

Aynho. At Tees Thame, Kettlesing. Earl Grays Once Brewed, Ham Sandwich in Towcester, Then Clothall Over Tably (Calder Vale), and Carrington Hoton Dishforth Over Tably.

Addingham Clotton Milcombe, and Roseberry Topping. At Lastingham.. (Tanton Tatterford) Reading! (Waitby.. There’s Morecombe)!

Fetcham Glasson, and Filton Brimton Beer (Beer - Maida Vale).

Collingham Hungerford Guist Over, Yelling “Combe Gedding.” Askham Richard, Askham Bryan - Pattishall Wantage, and Sittingborne Downham.

Sevinton Pyon Plaitford. Devizes, and Passenham Roundhay!

Biggin Hill Eton. Wilden Tasely Darliston! Tewin and Swallow, Butley Noke Burpham or Belchford (or Trumpington)! Decorum Mattersey.

Fullford Tumby? Goodleigh. If Tirely, then to Charing Cross, and Knapwell. (Little Snoring).

Remenham: Mabe Burthouse, or to Much Hadham, or Nuneaton (Nuneaton? Shirley Nottingham!), Donyatt Sling in Minskip - Tinwell, and Selling... Onnelley Tebay!

Unthank. Blisworth Clapham?